It's so frustrating to live in a world where people want you to "be yourself", whether it be embracing your sexuality, body size, culture/heritage, gender, and/or disability.
What people don't tell you is the judgement that comes when someone actually decides to follow the trend of embracing themselves for who they are.
It's such a double-standard. We clap for celebrities who come out of the closet, give money to children with disabilities, or share about a deep personal battle of their own. We laugh at other people's problems and blame it on either their lack of morale or the fact that they just weren't "as lucky" at birth.
My uniqueness comes mainly from my long battle/journey with mental illness. It hasn't been great recently and I do not feel like I can talk publicly about what has been going on in my life. Why? People in my life say to text or call, but I know that my situation is too much for them to handle. It's not that I'm saying I'm burdensome, it's just I have a lot going on. There aren't a lot of people who really want to live out the phrase of "carrying each other's burdens".
I'm not trying to be a pessimist, here. There a very unique select group of people in my life (my family, some outstanding friends) who are there and will always be there. I couldn't do anything without their love.
It's the people you see everyday that are the ones that you can't really tell. You know, you've got your coworkers, peers, mentors, teachers, bosses, professors, etc. The ones that I've been intentionally distancing myself from when it comes to sharing details of my personal life.
I know, however, that I am a person who does care. I will be nonjudgemental and loving toward you, no matter what.
Yet, people in your life who you have written off because they don't care have probably said the same thing.
It is so incredibly frustrating to try and live my life "normally" when I cannot.
I mean, I guess I'm supposed to swoop in and say "but that's what God's for!". I mean, it's true. God is meant to be our ultimate shelter and refuge. It's why he made our love for people finite, because no person could love us more in an entire lifetime than God can in a moment. It's the truth. It's what I believe to be the truth, at least. But sometimes having faith is one of the hardest things ever.
We hear sermons all the time that talk about brokenness but no one has specifically gone through our pain to understand how it feels. There is no sermon that can properly encapsulate our brokenness, because we all experience life differently. That's why we have an innate need for God. He can properly fill in the broken parts of our heart because He sees us, He hears us. He cries with us. It may not feel true at a moment in time, but that doesn't mean one should give up. There was a time in my life (about two years) that I had an extremely hard time feeling God's presence. I doubted His goodness but I still went to church. I still prayed, I still sang, I still read my Bible. Not because of the fact that I believe those deeds will get me into Heaven alone, but because of the fact that I didn't want to lose the small bit of hope that I had left.
People will ultimately fail us in the long run. We are human and we change as life goes on. People mature and move on to other things, or some people just stay where they are at and refuse change. But the one thing I know is this: God will never fail us. Life may suck for a little while, but it will get better. It has to.
The good news is, nothing lasts forever.
The bad news is, nothing lasts forever.
Depending on the day, you may be using only one of those sentences to describe where you are at. Neither sentence shouldn't be condemning, it should be a reminder that all things must come to an end at some point in time.
What people don't tell you is the judgement that comes when someone actually decides to follow the trend of embracing themselves for who they are.
It's such a double-standard. We clap for celebrities who come out of the closet, give money to children with disabilities, or share about a deep personal battle of their own. We laugh at other people's problems and blame it on either their lack of morale or the fact that they just weren't "as lucky" at birth.
My uniqueness comes mainly from my long battle/journey with mental illness. It hasn't been great recently and I do not feel like I can talk publicly about what has been going on in my life. Why? People in my life say to text or call, but I know that my situation is too much for them to handle. It's not that I'm saying I'm burdensome, it's just I have a lot going on. There aren't a lot of people who really want to live out the phrase of "carrying each other's burdens".
I'm not trying to be a pessimist, here. There a very unique select group of people in my life (my family, some outstanding friends) who are there and will always be there. I couldn't do anything without their love.
It's the people you see everyday that are the ones that you can't really tell. You know, you've got your coworkers, peers, mentors, teachers, bosses, professors, etc. The ones that I've been intentionally distancing myself from when it comes to sharing details of my personal life.
I know, however, that I am a person who does care. I will be nonjudgemental and loving toward you, no matter what.
Yet, people in your life who you have written off because they don't care have probably said the same thing.
It is so incredibly frustrating to try and live my life "normally" when I cannot.
I mean, I guess I'm supposed to swoop in and say "but that's what God's for!". I mean, it's true. God is meant to be our ultimate shelter and refuge. It's why he made our love for people finite, because no person could love us more in an entire lifetime than God can in a moment. It's the truth. It's what I believe to be the truth, at least. But sometimes having faith is one of the hardest things ever.
We hear sermons all the time that talk about brokenness but no one has specifically gone through our pain to understand how it feels. There is no sermon that can properly encapsulate our brokenness, because we all experience life differently. That's why we have an innate need for God. He can properly fill in the broken parts of our heart because He sees us, He hears us. He cries with us. It may not feel true at a moment in time, but that doesn't mean one should give up. There was a time in my life (about two years) that I had an extremely hard time feeling God's presence. I doubted His goodness but I still went to church. I still prayed, I still sang, I still read my Bible. Not because of the fact that I believe those deeds will get me into Heaven alone, but because of the fact that I didn't want to lose the small bit of hope that I had left.
People will ultimately fail us in the long run. We are human and we change as life goes on. People mature and move on to other things, or some people just stay where they are at and refuse change. But the one thing I know is this: God will never fail us. Life may suck for a little while, but it will get better. It has to.
The good news is, nothing lasts forever.
The bad news is, nothing lasts forever.
Depending on the day, you may be using only one of those sentences to describe where you are at. Neither sentence shouldn't be condemning, it should be a reminder that all things must come to an end at some point in time.