As I have grown in my faith and as a person, I have realized that there is a lot of shame that comes with having a mental illness. I realize it because I have experienced it.
It's been especially hard for me because of my faith. For eight months, I couldn't bring myself to pray, journal, or read my Bible because of how bad I felt and the shame that stood with it. I have been doubtful not because of God, but because of people within my life who are believers (or claim to be) that don't understand mental illness and its various facets so they may label me as "dangerous" or "at-risk to others".
But there are people who do understand. They want to help me so they give me advice about a time when they were struggling personally (maybe not with mental illness, per se) and were able to gain strength through themselves and/or their faith to overcome it.
In the book, Living Life Backwards by David Gibson, he writes:
It's been especially hard for me because of my faith. For eight months, I couldn't bring myself to pray, journal, or read my Bible because of how bad I felt and the shame that stood with it. I have been doubtful not because of God, but because of people within my life who are believers (or claim to be) that don't understand mental illness and its various facets so they may label me as "dangerous" or "at-risk to others".
But there are people who do understand. They want to help me so they give me advice about a time when they were struggling personally (maybe not with mental illness, per se) and were able to gain strength through themselves and/or their faith to overcome it.
In the book, Living Life Backwards by David Gibson, he writes:
"Only someone who knows how to weep will really know what it means to laugh." - p. 98
This statement struck me deeply. I know all too well how to weep, but I also know how to laugh. I've belly laughed at the littlest things that maybe a slight grin would be ellicited normally. There are many things that make me laugh. Family. My pets. Theatre. People. Little kids. Television. Books. Movies. Friends. These are just a few of the many things that make me laugh. When one is having a bad day, it can be hard to remember to smile or laugh.
Something important that I have learned as I have continued treatment is that your emotions are nothing to be ashamed of. It is not bad to experience certain emotions. It is impossible to be happy and cheerful all the time. The same goes for sadness. It may seem painful to experience now, but it will pass.
With all of that being said, I think that it is important to point out eight things I have learned from reading the Bible and seeking answers for mental illness.
Something important that I have learned as I have continued treatment is that your emotions are nothing to be ashamed of. It is not bad to experience certain emotions. It is impossible to be happy and cheerful all the time. The same goes for sadness. It may seem painful to experience now, but it will pass.
With all of that being said, I think that it is important to point out eight things I have learned from reading the Bible and seeking answers for mental illness.
1. Mental illness is not a result of one's poor choices in life or the choices of your parents, grandparents, etc.
"It was not because of his sins," - John 9:3
2. God uses disabilities (such as mental illness) to reveal another aspect of His Beauty to the world.
"...This happened so the power of God could be seen in him." - John 9:3
3. God is THERE and PRESENT during dark times.
"The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine." - Isaiah 9:2
4. We CANNOT hide from God, even our own darkness WILL NOT prevent Him from seeking and loving us.
"I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night, but even in darkness I cannot hide from You. To You, the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you." - Psalm 139:11-12
5. The Lord sees your broken heart, He knows more about you than you think.
"Oh Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me." - Psalm 139:1
6. There IS hope for those who are struggling.
"God WILL NOT reject a person of integrity, nor will He lend a hand to the wicked. He will once again fill you mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." - Job 8:20-21
7. NO MATTER WHAT, God won't give up on you, so don't give up on Him.
"Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One." - Job 6:10
8. God wants hear about your pain, not just the "good parts".
"Don't be too quick just to tell God what you think He wants to hear." -Living LIfe Backwards by David Gibson, p. 85
This all may seem like a bunch of bologna to the everyday warrior who is fighting to just hold on to a shread of hope. It still seems surreal to me, but it's the truth.
One of the reasons that I feel the church struggles so deeply with the issue of mental illness is because the church preaches about radical grace but is slow to act on it externally. We may somehow begin to fathom grace and how messy it is (yes, grace is messy. Try containing and explaining the grace that comes from a King dying for His People. Yeah, I thought so.) but we are afraid of people who may look differently than us, speak in a different tongue, or may worship a different god. We are quick to sit behind a computer and type judgements towards a Christian celebrity for not dressing "modest enough" at an award show, condemn other people for their opinions on a topic that you feel is the only way to feel, and quick to judge someone based on a mistake they made instead of being sympathetic towards them and helping them move on without guilt.
The Church is afraid of people who aren't predictable. The people who don't fit the cookie cutter mold that our western civilization has carved out.
It's quite puzzling to me, since those were the type people that were drawn to Jesus in the first place. They were drawn to him BECAUSE OF our Savior's unpredictability. He saved a woman caught in adultery from being stoned to death by religious officials. He sought out a woman at a well who felt shame for the numerous failed marriages she had and the fact that she was living with a man she wasn't married to. A paralyzed man was able to walk because of our Savior's reckless love for humanity. He could have easily walked away and told them all to fend for themselves, but He didn't. He put Himself in these situations intentionally so He could reveal to the world that there are good people. There is hope. It is found in Him.
It's how we as believers should be. We should be putting ourselves in strange situations that give people the chance to know hope. We should sit with the people at lunch who don't have anyone to talk to, bake cookies for our neighbor that is new to the country, volunteer at a homeless shelter, mow someone's lawn for free, all WITHOUT seeking praise from others. These things should be done purely OUT OF LOVE, not to "gain points" towards Heaven.
One of the reasons that I feel the church struggles so deeply with the issue of mental illness is because the church preaches about radical grace but is slow to act on it externally. We may somehow begin to fathom grace and how messy it is (yes, grace is messy. Try containing and explaining the grace that comes from a King dying for His People. Yeah, I thought so.) but we are afraid of people who may look differently than us, speak in a different tongue, or may worship a different god. We are quick to sit behind a computer and type judgements towards a Christian celebrity for not dressing "modest enough" at an award show, condemn other people for their opinions on a topic that you feel is the only way to feel, and quick to judge someone based on a mistake they made instead of being sympathetic towards them and helping them move on without guilt.
The Church is afraid of people who aren't predictable. The people who don't fit the cookie cutter mold that our western civilization has carved out.
It's quite puzzling to me, since those were the type people that were drawn to Jesus in the first place. They were drawn to him BECAUSE OF our Savior's unpredictability. He saved a woman caught in adultery from being stoned to death by religious officials. He sought out a woman at a well who felt shame for the numerous failed marriages she had and the fact that she was living with a man she wasn't married to. A paralyzed man was able to walk because of our Savior's reckless love for humanity. He could have easily walked away and told them all to fend for themselves, but He didn't. He put Himself in these situations intentionally so He could reveal to the world that there are good people. There is hope. It is found in Him.
It's how we as believers should be. We should be putting ourselves in strange situations that give people the chance to know hope. We should sit with the people at lunch who don't have anyone to talk to, bake cookies for our neighbor that is new to the country, volunteer at a homeless shelter, mow someone's lawn for free, all WITHOUT seeking praise from others. These things should be done purely OUT OF LOVE, not to "gain points" towards Heaven.
"There's no point in smelling like a bed of roses if everytime your name is mentioned at the dinner party, people feel the emotional equivalent of nails screeching down a blackboard." - Living Life Backwards by David Gibson, p. 95